Ever feel like the more you try to get done, the less you actually accomplish? Remember these two powerful words.
As a small-business owner, husband, and father of small children, my to-do lists tend to get crazy. See if you can spot the problem with a recent one:
1. Write a new article draft
3. Work on project 1 (deadline!)
10. Write newsletter draft
11. Write thank you messages
You've probably guessed it--this list is way. Too. Long.
It was meant for a day, but it would likely take me a week to get all of this done. And when I try to do too much, I don't get the important stuff done on time. Or, I don't give them the attention they deserve.
My guess is you're probably doing the same thing. If you're not trying to do too much in one day, you might be working on too many goals at the same time--and feel like you're not making progress on any of them.
If you suffer from this problem, there's a simple, two-word phrase you have to remember:
Why is this phrase so effective? To help answer that question, let's define why you suffer from this problem in the first place. Then, we'll see how this phrase can help you work better--and replace negative feelings of frustration and discouragement with positive ones like satisfaction and accomplishment. (If you find value in this lesson, you might be interested in my free course, which teaches you how to build emotional intelligence in yourself and your team.)
The importance of managing expectations, and how to do it
Likely, one of the biggest reasons you need to learn to manage expectations is because you're naturally ambitious. You know, "aim for the stars": the more you try to get done, the more you will get done.
That mindset can serve you--at times. But when it becomes your default, you set yourself up for disaster.
Because while it's tempting to believe that every day will be your best day, that you will always be at your most productive, this isn't reality. Failing to acknowledge that will leave you discouraged and defeated, frustrated by your weaknesses, limitations, lack of time, or other circumstances.
And here's where our key phrase comes in.
When you remind yourself to "manage expectations," you understand there's a major difference between what you want to do and what's possible to do.
So, while It's OK to aim for the stars when making short and long-term goals, you must also strive to be realistic in what it takes to reach them.
How to manage expectations
How can you improve at managing expectations?
You can start by asking yourself questions like:
- What is the scope, that is, what is involved in getting this done?
- What weaknesses, limitations, or constraints could slow me down?
- How long will it take, both best- and worst-case scenarios?
- What are one to three things that I want to get done the most (today, or this week, or this year)?
These questions will help you keep your expectations realistic.
Managing expectations can also serve you after the fact, as it can help you reassess what you've done and focus on what you have accomplished, as opposed to becoming discouraged by what you didn't get done. (Learn more about this in the rule of reappraisal.)
One more simple hack that I picked up from bestselling author Gretchen Rubin: When creating a to-do list, simply add a time for each task. This will help you reign in that ambition and focus on reality.
So, the next time you sit down to write your goals or to-do list, remember to use your emotional intelligence and manage expectations.
Because there's nothing wrong with aiming for the stars--as long as you give yourself enough time to get there.