As someone who has personally lost loved ones to suicide, I want to reflect on things we can do to identify suffering and work to prevent suicide.
As a young 7 year old girl, my 14 year old brother hung himself. It was deemed an accident, but I wonder if it was considering he wrapped bandanas around his neck and strung them to the ceiling. What was going on in his mind when he did this? How long had he considered doing this before he acted on it? At the time, our home was toxic, drugs, were rampet and he was not getting the love or attention that a 14 year old needs. This death could have been prevented.
At 19, my step Dad committed suicide by taking his entire bottle of Paxil. This was his second attempt. At the time, my Mom had relapsed on heroin and my step Dad felt helpless and hopeless. I could see it coming, and had found him on his first attempt and knew he was struggling. When he succeeded he left a note that he had revised 23 times over an extended period of time. This death could have been prevented.
Last week, a woman that worked at the daycare that our daughter attended committed suicide. I read through all of the posts on social from friends and family that loved her. A couple of weeks prior she posted a desperate post about not being able to find a job and how hopeless she felt. Could someone in her network offer her employment, support, or love? This death could have been prevented.
As humans, we all want connection. We all struggle with internal battles that others can’t see. What can we do to be better? How can we prevent these deaths from happening? The one thing that comes to my mind over and over again is LOVE. We all want and need it. Without it we feel hopeless, lonely, desperate. I want to wrap my arms around people struggling and remind them that everything will work out and this too shall pass. Life is hard and can be excruciating at times, but it always changes. Reconnecting with old friends and relating about our struggles is powerful. Helping others realize that they are not alone and that others are experiencing struggles helps calm the overwhelm and provides support. I challenge everyone to make the phone call, stop by and say hi to your friend that doesn’t answer or return calls. People are sitting at home alone not able to pick up the phone, respond to texts for a variety of reasons and making the effort to show you care makes a difference. Let’s connect more, relate more and take steps to prevent suicide.